The Worst Individual I Ever Worked With

Taken from a comment I posted on HN in a thread about a Soccer Con Man.

Not actually a programmer. The guy was hired to be a project manager.

After joining things were as expected but after a few weeks we noticed that he was rarely around after lunch and never around after lunch on a Friday.

We would email him at those times deliberately to catch him out and I recall starting to put sticky notes on his laptop “Came to see you a X time”. He would come back and just dump all the notes in the rubbish and claim he never got them. He would often claim to be working from home, despite his laptop being on his desk and usually closed. He would also never responding during those times to email or IM.

A classic seagull manager he would appear when something went wrong, making a lot of noise, writing a lot of emails and then vanishing. He would also be sure to be seen when something was delivered often staying back late on those times.

It got so bad one friend of mine started tracking when he was around and then tracking when one of his relatives died. During his tenure the following incidents occurred,

– Hot water system blew up. 4 times. He had pictures which he would show all the time.

– Uncles, aunts, and various over family members died to the total of 20 individuals.

– Our time tracking him showed him to be in the office less than 15 hours a week on average.

We started to suspect he had a second job and was pulling the same con on them. This was never proved, but we did find someone who had worked with him previously and they reported the same behavior.

The worst thing was it was raised with management at least several dozen times and nothing ever happened. He managed to pull this scam off for 4 years. I could not believe the waste of money this guy was, literally $500,000 burnt on a useless individual.

C# as a Language from old Google+ Post

The more I use C# as a language for writing things the more I am convinced that its approach really is the best language approach out there.

The unit test support is excellent which allows development speed to be just as fast as any dynamic language (Python, PHP, Perl).

The static typing catches so many issues before you get to runtime and allows sweeping changes without breaking things.

Unlike Java it has the var keyword (saves time and improves readability) and so many more useful functions which yes you can replicate but are just built in and work correctly.

Then you get to the really good stuff. LINQ is awesome. The lazy loading allows you to implement a repository pattern over your database which is just awesome. Set up the basic select * from then add extension methods allowing you to chain whatever you need, EG

from person in _dbContext.GetPerson().ByUserName(username).ByPassword(password);

100% elegant, easy to test, easy to write, easy to read and understand and generally works exactly as you would expect without any hidden gotchas. And because its lazy it doesn’t chew resources sucking back everything from the database.

You can use functional programming techniques if you wish, and with the new async decorators you can work in a node.js style if you with, with static typing and all existing library support.

Or you can continue to work in a C like manner, or mix it up with objects, procedural code and functional.

I switched back to Java not that long ago to write a simple server using Jetty and even with things like Guice (best DI implementation I have used so far) and Guava it was still painful. Less painful, but I really felt that the compiler was fighting me from doing things in an elegant manner most of the time. Even adding the “var” keyword would improve Java in a massive way. Add some functional programming in there and I would be pretty happy.

I just wish C# would run on the JVM as I would use it for pretty much everything in a heartbeat. As it is the Mono support is missing the stuff I really want and isn’t as seamless as the experience should be. A pity really as C# really is in my experience the nicest language to work today that’s production ready.

Interesting Code Comment

Found the following comment in some code I had modified a few years ago.

Just to set this up, its an existing application I had no hand in creating, and is a totally atrocity of 180,000 lines of untested code (and pretty much un-testable) which through the abuse of extension methods lives in a single class spread out across multiple files.

/* 
This is evil but necessary. For some reason people have put validation rules here rather then in the bloody ValidationHelper. Thanks to their incompetence or genius... we now have no idea if we add the extra validation in the correct place and call it here if it will work. Since this is also 180,000 lines of non tested nor testable code (without refactoring) I have no confidence in making any changes. Sure we have subversion but that dosnt allow us to code fearlessly ripping apart methods and refactoring since we have no test safety net.

I guess the obligatory car analogy would be driving down the highway, carrying nuclear waste, in an open container, in a snow storm, with acid/lsd/ice fueled drugie ninja bikies attacking you, while on fire, while juggling chainsaws, and all of a sudden you need to change the tyre. So much is going on that its you dont want to risk it and then when forced to do so 
you know its going to end up badly.

If you are still reading this then for the love of all things holy, help by refacting stuff so we can test it properly. The DAO layer should be fairly simple but everthing else is a shambles. 

Rant time over. Lets commit sin by adding more validation.
*/

Not so unique GUID

I have been doing a lot of work with the Sitecore CMS recently. Once of the things you quickly learn is how it relies on GUID’s for pretty much everything. This means of course when you start testing and need to supply GUID’s into your tests that you end up with lots of GUIDs that look like the following sprinkled through your code {11111111-1111-1111-1111-111111111111}

Today I remarked that we should be using things like “deadbeef” for the first part of the GUID with a colleague. He suggested that we should try and actually write something. With a little bit of 1337 speak this is actually possible. Naturally we got back to work, but with a little free time I quickly coded up a simple Python application to generate “phrased” GUID’s. Some examples follow,

silicles-oafs-blob-tael-declassified -> {5111c1e5-0af5-b10b-7ae1-dec1a551f1ed}
deedless-gait-soft-goes-eisteddfodic -> {deed1e55-9a17-50f7-90e5-e157eddf0d1c}
libelist-diel-alls-flit-disaffiliate -> {11be1157-d1e1-a115-f117-d15aff111a7e}
offstage-diel-labs-scat-classifiable -> {0ff57a9e-d1e1-1ab5-5ca7-c1a551f1ab1e}

None of the above are make much sense, but by looking at the outputs you can attempt to write something such as,

 cassette soft gold dice collectibles
{ca55e77e-50f7-901d-d1ce-c011ec71b1e5}

Very zen. Some rough back of napkin calculations gives my program something like 10,000,000,000,000 combinations of GUID’s based on the word list I supplied. I may just turn it into a online GUID generator like this one http://www.guidgenerator.com/

EDIT – You can now get these guids at https://searchcode.com/guid/